Help

Well, again I haven't posted in a while, I've just had so much to do. Blah.
I haven't had time to excerxise either and this scares me because I feel that I may have gained back atleast some of the weight that I lost, even if it wasn't much. My mom even said so. -tear- haha kidding, well I won't let that bring me down.


So there's something I've thought about before but never enough to really decide to do it. I'd just really like to try excercising before school. Just going for a walk/jog. Though I'm supposed to wake up around 6:00 am for school and catch my bus at 6:40...But i really wasn't to try. I searched this up and found that it's a good thing to do because It'll give you more energy throughout the day, and you'll be burning of fat instead of carbs that you ate during the day. But I don't know what time i should wake up for it...I really want to do this right now too, I haven't gone to bed yet thinking about this, and I had to post. Maybe if I wake up around 5:00 am walk/jog until 5:30-ish ...then I'd have to shower, Ugh but I'd have to wash my hair, and I don't want to go to school with wet hair because when it dries it's all floofy and wierd.

But I don't know, I think it would be worth It, if it's going to make me feel energetic during the day I'd rather that. Lately I've been feeling somewhat crappier in school, because I just put whatever on, and though I look decent, and everytime I walk to my next class I just think to myself, I don't care what anyone sees me as right now, physically I mean, This is how I am for now, I can't change from one day to another, so right now I don't care, I just want to get through the day and Next year will be different, because I'm trying, even if sometimes I can't try hard enough, I'm not going to let this year and this summer pass by again with me being the same and not reaching my weight loss goal.

I've had alot in mind lately, I have so much to say, for the first time I've felt really confused with myself and what I'm doing with my life. I kinda laughed because It's something you usually hear in some teen movie or novel right? hah.

I'm just trying to get things organized, in my head, in school,spiritualy. But the problem is I don't even know where to start. I wish I could just let go, leave it all to the will of God, whom I believe in strongly. But that I don't even know how to do.


Great, I completely forgot It was raining...Well I'm going to set up my alarm for 4:55 anyways, if it's still raining by then I guess I won't go...of course.
And If I do, please pray I don't get Jumped or anything bad along those lines.

I hope you'll understand everything I've said, even if it doesn't quite make sense, right now I could care less, I;m just saying it all as I think.

<3